bottling up emotions

emotions are complicated.

even when you feel something, sometimes you just go, i don’t know what to feel.
maybe it’s because you don’t fully understand what you’re feeling.
or maybe you’ve learned that you’re supposed to feel a certain way about certain things and that just puts pressure on your mind.
so you end up stopping yourself from actually feeling it.
and that feeling?
it gets buried.

but here’s the thing
there’s no one way to feel.
yes, there are things like positive and negative emotions, and sure, it’s good to try and think positive.
but when we force ourselves to think a certain way just because we heard it’s the “right” way, we’re just tricking ourselves.
and then it becomes a habit.

we start telling ourselves even without knowing it that we’re not allowed to feel certain things.
and suddenly it feels like we’re in control,
when actually, we’re not.

emotions don’t need to have value.
we feel what we feel.
and putting walls around them, instead of finding healthy ways to express them, doesn’t make us stronger it just hides what’s really going on.
we start calling it “growth” or “maturity” or “being strong”
when really, it’s just us not knowing how to cope.

just let it flow.
you feel what you feel.

and if emotions scare you if they feel messy or make you feel too open,
try journaling.
or therapy.
or talking to someone who won’t make you feel stupid for being emotional.

a lot of people feel deeply but don’t show itseems
because somewhere along the way, they were told they’re “too strong” to cry, or “too mature” to get angry.
and so they start bottling it up.
but that bottle? it fills. and fills.
and one day it’s going to spill.
and you won’t know what to do with it.
or worse you’ll forget how to feel anything at all.

you’ll forget how to react
because you spent so long convincing yourself there’s a “right” way to react.

but emotions don’t need to be labeled.
they make you human.
they separate you from all the things that can’t feel.

so let them flow.
when we talk about “controlling” emotions 
we don’t mean “don’t feel this” or “ignore that.”
we mean, yes, feel it.
let yourself understand why you feel it.
let yourself express it in a way that’s good for you.

and in doing that you might find a little peace when everything seems to be chaotic